The Stupidest Angel Chapter 5

Chapter 5THE SEASON FOR MAKING NEW FRIENDSTheo was doing fifty up Worchester Street when the flaxene man stepped from behind a tree into the street. The Volvo had just lurched all over a patched strip in the asphalt, so the grille was pointed up and caught the towheaded man abtaboo hip-high, tossing him into the air ahead of the car. Theo stood on the brake, except even as the antilocks throbbed, the blond man hit the t girdac and the Volvo rolled over him, making sickening crunching and thumping noises as body parts ricocheted into wheel wells.Theo checked the rearview as the car stopped and saw the blond man flopping to a stop in the red wash of the brake lights. Theo pulled the radio come to his smash as he leaped from the car, and stood ready to anticipate for help when the figure untruth in the road started to get up.Theo let the radio fall to his side. Hey, buddy, just stay right there. Just stay calm. Help is on the focal point. He started loping toward the hurt man , then pulled up.The blond guy was on his hands and knees now Theo could also see that his head was twisted the wrong way and the desire blond haircloth was cascading back to the ground. There was a crackling noise as the guys head turned around to face the ground. He stood up. He was wearing a long black coat with a rain flap. This was the suspect.Theo started backing away. You just stay right there. Help is on the way. Even as he verbalize it, Theo didnt cipher this guy was interested in any help.The foot that faced backward came around to the front with a nonher series of sickening crackles. The blond man tinctureed up at Theo for the first time.Ouch, he said.Im guessing that smarted, Theo said. At least his eyes werent glowing red or anything. Theo backed into the open door of the Volvo. You index exigency to lie down and wait for the ambulance. For the second time in as many hours, he wished he had remembered to bring his gun along.The blond man held an arm out toward Th eo, then noticed that the thumb on the outstretched hand was on the wrong side. He grabbed it with his other hand and snapped it back into place. Ill be okay, the blond man said, monotone.You know, if that coat dry-cleans itself while Im watching, Ill nominate you for governor my own self, Theo said, trying to buy time while he thought of what he was going to translate to the dispatcher when he keyed the button on the radio.The blond man was now coming steadily toward him the first few steps limping badly, but the limp getting better as he got closer. Stop right there, Theo said. You are under arrest for a two-oh-seven-A.Whats that? asked the blond man, now only a few feet from the Volvo.Theo was relatively sure now that a 207A was not a possum with a handgun, but he wasnt sure what it was, so he said, Freakin out a little kid in his own home. Now stop right there or I will blow your fucking brains out. Theo pointed the radio, overture first, at the blond guy.And the blond guy stopped, only steps away. Theo could see the deep gouges cut in the mans cheeks from contact with the road. There was no blood.Youre taller than I am, said the blond man.Theo guessed the blond man to be about six-two, maybe three. Hands on the roof of the car, he said, training the antenna of the radio between the impossibly blue eyes.I dont interchangeable that, said the blond man.Theo crouched quickly, making himself appear shorter than the blond man by a couple of inches.Thanks.Hands on the car.Wheres the church?Im not kidding, throw up your hands on the roof of the car and spread em. Theos instance broke like he was hitting second puberty.No. The blond man snatched the radio out of Theos hand and crushed it into shards. Wheres the church? I need to get to the church.Theo dove into the car, scooted across the foundation, and came out on the other side. When he looked back over the roof of the car the blond man was just standing there, looking at him like a parakeet might loo k at himself in the mirror.What? Theo screamed.The church?Up the street youll come to some woods. Go through them about a hundred yards.Thank you, said the blond man. He walked off.Theo jumped back into the Volvo, threw it into drive. If he had to run over the guy again, so be it. But when he looked up from the dash, no one was there. It suddenly occurred to him that mollie might still be at the old chapel.Her house smelled of eucalyptus and sandalwood and had a woodstove with a glass window that warmed the room with orange light. The skim was locked outside for the night.Youre a cop? Lena said, moving away from Tucker Case on the couch. Shed gotten past the bat. Hed explained the bat, disunite of. Hed been married to a woman from a peaceable island and had gotten the bat in a custody battle. Things like that happened. Shed gotten the house they were sitting in, in her divorce from Dale, and it still had a black marble Jacuzzi tub with dye Greek erotic figures inset in a border a round the edge. The jetsam of divorce can be embarrassing, so you couldnt fault someone a bathtub or fruit bat rescued out of sack outs shipwreck, but he might have followed he was a cop before he suggested burying her ex and going to dinner.No, no, not a real cop. Im here working for the DEA. Tuck moved closer to her on the couch.So youre a medicine cop? He didnt look like a cop. A golf pro, maybe, that blond hair and the lines around the eyes from too much sun, but not a cop. A TV cop, maybe the vain, bad cop, who has something going on with the female district attorney.No, Im a pilot. They subcontract independent helicopter pilots to fly agents into pot-growing areas like Big Sur so they can spot patches hidden in the forest with infrared. Im just working for them here for a couple of months.And after a couple of months? Lena couldnt believe she was worried about commitment from this guy.Ill try to get another job.So youll go away.Not necessarily. I could stay.Lena moved ba ck toward him on the couch and examined his face for the hint of a smirk. The problem was, since shed met him, hed always worn the hint of a smirk. It was his best feature. Why would you stay? she said. You dont even know me.Well, it might not be about you. He smiled.She smiled back. It was about her. It is about me. Yeah.He was leaning over and there was going to be a kiss and that would be okay, she thought, if the night hadnt been so horrible. It would be okay if they hadnt shared so much history in so short a time. It would be okay if, ifHe kissed her.Okay, she was wrong. It was okay. She put her arms around him and kissed him back.Ten minutes later she was down to just her sweater and panties, she had driven Tucker Case deeply enough into the ceding back of the couch that his ears were baffled with cushions, and he couldnt hear her when she pushed back from him and said, This doesnt mean that were going to bed together.Me, too, said Tuck, pulling her closer.She pushed back aga in. You cant just assume that this is going to happen.I think I have one in my wallet, he said, trying to lift her sweater over her head.I dont do this sort of thing, she said, wrestling with his belt buckle.I had a test for my pilot physical a month ago, he said as he liberated her breasts from their combed cotton link of oppression. Clean as a whistle.Youre not listening to meYou look beautiful in this light.Does doing this so soon after, you know does doing this make me evil?Sure, you can call it a weasel if you want to.And so, with that tender honesty, that frank connection, the coconspirators chased away each others loneliness, the smell of grave-digging sweat rising romantic in the room as they mow in love. A little.Despite Theos concern, Molly wasnt at the old chapel, she was getting a visit from an old friend. Not a friend, exactly, but a voice from the past.Well, that was just nuts, he said. You cant feel good about that.Shut up, said Molly, Im trying to drive.Accordin g to the DSM-IV, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, you had to have at least two of a number of symptoms in order to be considered as having a psychotic episode, or, as Molly liked to think of it, an delicious moment. But there was an exception, a single symptom that could put you in the batshit column, and that was a voice or voices commenting on the activities of daily life. Molly called it the Narrator, and she hadnt heard from him in over five years not since shed gone and stayed on her medication as she had promised Theo. That had been the agreement, if she stayed on her meds, Theo would stay off of his well, more specifically, Theo would not have anything to do with his drug of choice, marijuana. Hed had quite a habit, going back twenty years before theyd met.Molly had stuck to the agreement with Theo shed even gotten decertified by the state and gone off financial aid. A resurgence in royalties from her old movies had helped with the expenses, b ut lately shed started falling short.Its called an enabler, said the Narrator. The Drug Fiend and the Warrior Babe Enabler, thats you two.Shut up, hes not a drug fiend, she said, and Im not the Warrior Babe.You did him right there in the graveyard, said the Narrator. That is not the behavior of a sane woman, that is the behavior of Kendra, Warrior Babe of the Outland.Molly cringed at the mention of her signature character. On occasion, the Warrior Babe persona had leaked off the big screen and into her own reality. I was trying to keep him from noticing that I might not be a hundred percent.Might not be a hundred percent? You were driving a Christmas tree the size of a Winnebago down the street. You re way off a hundred percent, darlin. What do you know? Im fine.Youre talking to me, arent you?WellI think Ive made my point.Shed forgotten how smug he could be.Okay, maybe she was having a few more artistic moments than usual, but she hadnt had a break with reality. And it was for a goo d cause. Shed taken the money shed saved on her meds to pay for a Christmas be for Theo. It was on layaway down at the glass blowers gallery a handblown dichromatic glass bong in the Tiffany style. Six hundred bucks, but Theo would so love it. Hed destroyed his collection of bongs and water pipes right after theyd met, a symbol of his break with his pot habit, but she knew he missed it.Yeah, said the Narrator. Hell need that bong when he finds out hes coming home to the Warrior Babe.Shut up. Theo and I just had an adventurous romantic moment. I am not having a break.She pulled into Brines Bait, Tackle, and Fine Wines to foot up a six-pack of the dark bitter beer Theo liked and some milk for the morning. The little store was a miracle of eclectic supply, one of the few places on the planet where you could buy a fine Sonoma Merlot, a wedge of ripened French Brie, a can of 10W-30, and a carton of night crawlers. Robert and Jenny Masterson had own the little shop since before Molly ha d come to town. She could see Robert by himself behind the counter, tall with salt-and-pepper hair, looking a little hangdog as he read a science magazine and sipped a diet Pepsi. Molly liked Robert. Hed always been kind to her, even when she was considered the villages resident crazy lady.Hey, Robert, she said as she came through the door. The place smelled of egg rolls. They sold them out of the back, where they had a pressure fryer. She breezed past the counter toward the beer cooler.Hey, Molly. Robert looked up, a little startled. Uh, Molly, you okay?Crap, she thought. Had she forgotten to brush the fade needles out of her hair? She probably looked a mess. She said, Yeah, Im fine. Theo and I were just putting up the Christmas tree at the Santa Rosa Chapel. You and Jenny are coming to alone(p) Christmas, arent you?Of course, Robert said, his voice still a little strained. He seemed to be making an effort not to look at her. Uh, Molly, we kind of have a indemnity here. He tappe d the sign by the counter, NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE.Molly looked down. Oh my gosh, I forgot.Its okay.I left my sneakers in the car. Ill just run out and put them on.That would be great, Molly. Thanks.No problem.I know its not on the sign, Molly, but while youre out there, you might want to put some pants on, too. Its sort of implied.Sure thing, she said, breezing by the counter and out the door, feeling now that, yes, it seemed a little cooler out than when shed left the house. And yes, there were her jeans and panties on the passenger seat next to her sneakers.I told you, said the Narrator.